Birthdays simplified

Just wrapped up a day out at cinnamon creek bow range with Riley and his friend Cade.  What a joy to celebrate my boy this weekend coupled with great weather!  Crazy to think that 15 years ago today I had no idea I'd be meeting my little guy who's entrance into this world was long awaited.  Little did I know he would be early and this would be our last day as a family of three.  Something happened on that day, January 19, 1999 that forever changed me and our family... But I'll post that tomorrow.  But for today, we're celebrating everything Riley with everything he loves- cabellas, shooting his bow, friends and wrapping up with some family time at dinner at one of his favorite spots.  Because the truth is birthdays are a big deal. My mom did a great job of this when I was young and I do my hardest to carry on that tradition and plan to continue through the generations that follow.  This is a time to feel valued and celebrated.  People make fun of me, but I don't care, because God created life and life is such a gift we must treat it like one!  As is was signing the boys in at the shooting range I passed by. a mom walking in with cake and cookies and balloons and a little part of me thought "I miss that" but then chad snapped me back into reality and said "I don't". We've got the best of both worlds. A fun day with simplicity.  No hassle. No stress. Just fun. The boys went and shot and chad and I read and talked and just chilled  Then we played with them. Then I ditched all three boys and came to the truck to write.  Simple.  I kinda like it. The even better part is I was able to text chandler to pick up the cake and stuff we needed. What a blessing to have grown up kids. Not gonna lie, there are days that I miss little ones... But my heart is so full with anticipation for when the time comes (not anytime soon I know) that we get to be grandparents and impact the next generation!  So for now, I will enjoy my older kids and treasure the moments like today. Birthday. Celebrations. Simple. Family.  Perfection.

D6 Conference Notes- Transitioning to Family Ministry

TRANSITIONING TO FAMILY MINISTRY

Leading Up-

I do my best to do things well and with excellence 

I try and use my time and influence wisely. 

I prepare for meetings with my senior leadership.. he’s relational so I might not get to cover everything but after all the “chit chat” and he looks to me and says “whatcha got” I'm prepared. 

I try and solve my own problems and just ask for his feedback wisdom or input instead of expecting him to solve them for me.  I share the STORIES- the wins

I inform him ahead of time of anything in my ministry areas that is a concern or may have “gone South” so he hears it from ME FIRST

I let him know what I need from him- when I’ve been hurt or frustrated

Leading Down

ENCOURAGE

Lead by LISTENING
Know their strengths and weaknesses

Use your words wisely—planting seeds

Leading In-

Stay filled up and when you’re not…remove yourself from the spotlight and refuel (close your office door, leave for the afternoon- whatever) the quickest way to loose trust is to react out of emotion when we are running on empty physically and emotionally

Spend time in the WORD that’s not study or preparation!

Leading Out

From the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks

When you have the buy in from your leadership above you, your team below you, and you are walking in the fullness that God created you for you have the ability to lead out of the anointing God has placed in you for the benefit of the body.  If any of the above are out of order your outward influence diminishes. 

Growing a dynamic Ministry

To kids- 

know their needs

put the right leadership in place

create experiences, be creative and FUN

To students- 

know their needs 

supplement the home

foster relationships with their peers and adult leaders in their lives

invest time energy and resources into them

To families- 

schedule with purpose

Know their needs-if you don't know ask!  Poll parents, sned a group text, utilize social media

Be a blessing to them instead of always expecting from them

To leaders

Know their needs

Love in their language

Tiers of leadership

Annual blowout-celebrate them—across the board not separately—our YOU ROCK EVENT with the tshirts for everyone and the additional gift for those serving for longer

Keeping your most important ministry your priority

FAMILY FIRST
-schedule your time wisely and stick to it—supper club night- my kids know

Scheduling meetings after dinner—make and keep dinner a priority—stats about family dinner

-love in word and ACTION- love spelled T-I-M-E

-attend church AS A FAMILY

Leading all the ministries effectively and strategically

-       -work together for events- trunk or treat, date nights/student serve days

-       -church wide is family wide- 

-       -meet quarterly with the mens/womens/freedom ministry leaders to see how you can compliment what they're doing or they can come alongside what you're doing.

-       -communicate about the crossover between ministries, we are ALL ON THE SAME TEAM

-       -continually encourage each ministry area- as a leader your number one job is to listen, listening takes time, time is a huge commodity

-       -vision that embodies the objectives to navigate the kids from cradle to college that impacts and affects the whole family

PREP-A-RA-TION

prep·a·ra·tion

ˌprepəˈrāSHən/

noun  the action or process of making ready or being made ready for use or consideration.

1. 
   

   This has been something I have had to do a lot more of lately...more than I am used to at least.  And i've learned a lot about myself along the way.  I've learned where my strength lies and where my deficiencies poke me in the eye!  I've been preparing to do things I don't do on a regular basis, things I've never done before, things that take time and energy and brainpower that seem to be insufficient these days as I try and balance the spinning plates I call LIFE.  So here's my two cents on preparation:

   
   

   -MAKE THE TIME DON'T TAKE THE TIME

   You have to carve out, schedule, fight for the time to prepare for the things that are important.  If you just try and "take the time" and throw it in a tiny window of yoru already packed schedule it won't be the quality you want or the task deserves.

   
   

   -UNDIVIDED ATTENTION|UNDIVIDED HEART

   Preparation is the most important part of the task, even or project.  Weather it's a Bible Study, preparing to teach or lead in any capacity, an important meeting, a lunch date with a friend, dinner with our family- we must go in with an undivided heart and undivided attention.

   
   

   -SURRENDER IT ALL

   In the end, if we have made preparation a priority the only other responsibility is to surrender it all to the Father and trust him completely with the outcome with the fruit that will come from your preparation, your time and energy invested, and giving the person or project your undivided attention.  

   
   

   The cliche is true "give God your best and He'll do the rest"

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

Game plan-Scott Crenshaw

These are my notes and Take-aways from week 2 of the Game Plan Series.

TEAM CAPTAIN

God ill give you family. Whatever you bring me.

Call out the greatness in you

There's a team captain in your family

Team captain leads the team when the coach when he's not in the field

Calling or responsibility to that.

Top ten mistakes to avoid.

Thinking the job is over after being elected or selected.  It's not just about the title

Try to please everyone.

Not confronting difficult issues

Not planning ahead

Leadership revolves around the sport on the field.  - They're accountable for their actions all the time. We are the house if his. He dwells with us. Don't just talk Jesus at church.

Giving 80% effort expecting 100% results.

Expecting to do a good job with out leadership training.   Learns m&f grow in what it means to be a team captain in our families.

Our homes are different.

1/3 of marriages will be into blended families.

Build trust and build respect as you build relationships.

Blending. Relationships. Be patient.  

Single parents. We love and support them.  

Deut 24

Take care of the widows and fatherless

God has a heart for the single parent

Picking a team captain. Arnold Palmer

Consider the culture of the team.

What does the team need.

God knows what your team loos like and he chose you.

Team. You're not in it by yourself. Community with other people.

Team captain is a part of a team

Don't do family by yourself

- small group community

Captain. Anything with more than one head is a monster.

Leading well starts with surrender.

GENEROUS

GENEROUS; ADJECTIVE - kind: willing to give money, help, or time freely

I love how the dictionary defines it, but how is it defined in your life?  Take a look at a few ways you can gauge your families generosity.  When we talk about being generous we aren't necessarily talking about what you do and don't do with your money.  It's about the heart behind the matter.  There is so much blessing for the giver when we give.   I know we WANT our kids to be generous but the truth is, its starts with US. So, here's our quick and easy how-to guide to generosity.  I don't pretend to have all the answers or the perfect kids.  I've asked other parents and compiled this in hopes that it will encourage and challenge you!

Live it--Live a generous life!  Sounds simple but let your kids see you give, in obedience to the church and as an offering to the people and opportunities God places in your life.  Give away what you don't need anymore because someone else does, or even better give away something just because someone else needs it.  Sometimes our kids are willing to give away something they love if we show them a need that someone else has. Our lifestyle teaches!

Tell It-- Don't miss an opportunity to tell your kids about how God has charged us to be generous.  And not just with our money or possessions but with our time.  When we spend time with people when we go to a nursing home or help a stranded person change a tire, we are living generously.  Take every opportunity you can to share about the times you were able to be generous, a way that someone else was generous with you or a way you saw someone else being generous.  Our stories teach!

Do it-- Empower them.  Brainstorm ways that you as a family or they individually can be generous with what they have and even give them the means to do it.  Set aside some money each month for your kids and challenge them to come up with their own ideas of how they can be creatively generous.  I promise, your heart will be even more blessed to see this heart of generosity well up in your kids as they become actively generous.  Our experiences teach!

Re-tell it-- Talk through what you guys have done to be generous and how it impacted someone else, praise them for their efforts, and pray with them that God would continue to grow and use your family in this way.  And remind them, that these are stories to be told...because we don't know what God might want to do through our story in the life of someone else.  Sharing our stories teaches!

Deuteronomy 15:10 talks about how we should give freely to the poor, and our heart won't be grudging about it, and because of this, God will bless us in all we do. (my paraphrase)  But the "poor" isn't just isolated to the homeless people in a shelter and the "give" isn't just the money we have or don't have.  The "poor" can be someone who is down and out and just needs a little love and encouragement.  Help your kids find those ways to be generous too!  The truth is all we have isn't ours anyways.  It's all a gift from the Father entrusted to us to be faithful with the things we have.  Sometimes we keep our "stuff" for a long time, sometimes we are encouraged to give up something we really like, and other times we need to give away what we don't need.  A generous heart comes from a thankful heart.  So, as we walk into the Thank-Full month, talk about being generous and then, be intentional and set aside some time to actually live it out.  

Praying for you and your family!

prayer

God does not want merely to answer our prayers; He wants to spend time with us to prepare us for the answer that will come. Many times we want to skip over the process involved in engaging God in prayer as we wait for our answer. But it is this very process that works maturity in us and prepares us for the answers our prayers bring (James 1:4).

D6 Pre-con lab notes

Here are the notes one of my team members(thanks Josh!) took at D6 conference pre con lab

Parenting kids while doing ministry!

Birdcage - (what are we trapped by)

• They are perfect and I can't be that
• They are fake and I don't want to be that
• The epectations they put on theirselves or the expectations put on them by someone else keeps them caged and unable to be who they are supposed to be.

Fishbowl - (what we display)

• elevating our kids to watch them fail
• constantly on display

"in our fear of failure, we often fail"

Fear of failure is when we fail.

Fight for the heart of our kids.

Annointing leaks onto our kids.

Soccer Field - (what boundaries)

• to know and love God
• the ball goes off the field - and we pick up it and put it back on the field

I want to help raise my kids biblically - (sometimes you need to not be a pastor, not about a lesson.)

1. It's okay to talk about God on a daily basis.

2. They are going to fail. - Maximize the failure or teach them through it. 

3. We need to be a open place. Its not off limits. Its just out of bounds.

4. Help the kid understand they have an identity outside of church and her parents.

5. Don't tell them no because it reflects negatively on you or them. 

6. Be a mirror and not a glass window. Help your kids them in you and you in them. Be a mirror of God.

7. Pray for our kids... their failures, their expectations, 

THE WINS IN MINISTRY

• They get to see God in a daily way
• They get resources
• They get to see people and pastors as they really are
• They are set apart

80% of kids raised in ministry are walking away from the church.

Let yourself off the hook... what she/he is going through is okay, it doesn't discredit your ministry

It is okay to have perks in ministry. The blessings in ministry are quicker to ministry kids than. Its okay for the pastor to elevate other staff kids because of who they are and not what their parents do.

DON"Ts

• Don't constantly talk about all the hard and bad things about church.
• Don't assume that because they are around everyone that is going to help them come around to Jesus.
• Don't let their decisions decrease the view of yourself in God's eyes.

Your Kids - They are your number one priority

God is saying, "I got this"! Can you lay them on the alter.

God has a promise for your kid and they are wired. Cling to the promise that God has given you for each kid.

meganlacefield.com

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